I felt like a predator studying his prey as I watched the girl eat her yogurt. Her lips wrapped around the spoon in a tantalizing manner, and when her tongue poked out to lick the remnants off of it, I knew then I would have her. No matter if she was friends with my sister. Just looking at her stirred feelings of primal lust inside me I’d never felt before, and I wanted—no, needed—to explore them. The curvy, blond, and sinfully gorgeous Irina hadn’t ever been able to get a reaction like that out of me, and she was one of the few who I’d had sex with multiple times.

Oh, yes, mystery girl. I will fuck you, I thought, continuing to stare at her. Her head lifted and deep, brown eyes met mine, as if she’d heard my internal dialogue. I licked my bottom lip and tried to convey with my eyes the desire I had to make her scream my name—anywhere, anytime, anyway. She ran her tongue seductively over her top teeth, looking me over. My body prickled with desire, and just as I was about to try to communicate my intentions with a nod to leave and fuck her somewhere in the building, she turned away as if the sexual chemistry I’d felt hadn’t just passed between us.

Prologue

We All Fall Down

~.~.~.~

Ring around a rosy
Pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall down

~.~.~.~

From These Ashes

Chapter 1 Teaser

A sob bubbled up in my throat. I was scared, but at the same time, I was determined. It was hard work to keep up a façade of happiness when you were dying on the inside, and the will to keep my wall up just wasn’t there anymore. I craved the peace that was promised when you fell into death’s embrace.

A strong face with auburn hair and green eyes invaded my mind as my eyelids slid shut. The memories of Edward’s smug smile that could get me to agree to any crazy plan he would come up with, and those hands that had explored every inch of my body fluttered through. The I love yous, the you are everything to mes, and the I promise I’ll never leave yous echoed in my skull like a pounding headache.

My eyes snapped open, and the tears poured down my face. My emotions switched, and rage colored my vision. I stood up and threw the knife across the room, watching as it clattered on the floor.

It's Been A Long Time Since I've Used This

After much consideration, I've decided to post the story here and some of the pics that go along with it. I have so much going on these days--what with this story, the collaboration that's just been posted, beta duties, and other projects yet to be posted, I keep forgetting to update the blog. So, I think this will be better for all of us.

Sometime soon, this will be another place for you to come and read the chapters for Forever is a Promise You Keep. Also, I'm going to post the outtakes here, too. Maybe even change the blog to feature all of the other stuff I'm working on. I'm not sure yet, though, I'm still deciding.

Chapter 8-11

Chapter 8


Oh, my god you guys. The response to the fake proposal blew me away. I guess, though, a lot of you are closet romantics, or whatever. Some of you even asked if my husband had done that for me. Sadly, no, nothing like that ever happened. I just used his love for all types of bubblegum toys and my annoyance with them. We do, however, have a small bookcase full of those craptastic toys. *eye roll*

I've also noticed that most of you like the flashbacks of Edward and Bella's relationship. I'm glad, because I didn't want Edward to be a total ass. Another reason, though, is because we're basically starting the story at the end of their relationship. Okay, well, sort of. And it was the only way to show how things used to be.

The song for this chapter was Breath by Breaking Benjamin





Oh, Charlie's truck was introduced this chapter too. Tell me it isn't badass.

Chapter 9


Major tears and angst with this chapter.

Bella's argument with Carlisle in the beginning was the first glimpse into the fact that she doesn't trust Edward's family. As the story goes on, you'll begin to understand why through her thoughts, and possibly (cause I haven't decided yet) a few flashbacks. I can tell you, though, it's deep, and Bella feels justified.

I'm sure some of you weren't expecting Jacob to be Edward's nurse. Ha. I've said before that I'm not going to have cheating a part of this fic and I mean it. Tanya will be introduced, but she'll not be where you might expect.

I have to be honest. It about killed me to share the scene where Edward is prepared for his ride in the helicopter that will take him to Seattle. In reality, I wasn't there when my husband was sent off. Instead, his cousin came over after his mom called her and then I had a recount of it from his sister. Her description?

Oh, god. There was so much blood.

So, if that particular scene was vague, that's why. I didn't have a lot to go on, only what I saw later on in the hospital. I had to kind of recreate from nothing. Plus, I figured it might be horrifying to not really know what was going on while reading it.

Song for this chapter was Invisible by Opeth. This song gave me fucking chills and made me cry when I wrote the airlift scene, and I knew that it was perfect.






I also put a picture up on my profile to represent the hospital. Think big city.

Chapter 10

I think the lemon in this chapter was kind of overshadowed by my author's note. Really, it was fine to comment on it. I was upset with my husband's hospitalization, but that doesn't mean I didn't want you to enjoy it. 

Bella had a lot of time to run though that particular flashback, and I wanted it to show that Edward was always at odd with his dad when Carlisle insisted on telling him what to do. Being an independent and stubborn guy made it hard for him to accept anything from his dad, even if it would help him. 

The song for this chapter was Nobody's Daughter by Hole

I don't think there were any pics added to my profile for this one. If there was, I'll come back and fix it later.




Chapter 11


Ah, this was a hard one, too.

First, lets talk about Emmett and Rosalie. I'm sure you all think she's a bitch, and you'd be right. The only things she cares about are Emmett and money. So, she's going to add some color to the story. LOL.

Emmett, I'm sure you all thought, didn't care about Edward. As you see, that's not true. What is true is that he couldn't handle watching Edward self-destruct. So he left Bella to deal with him on her own. He is now kicking himself for it.

In case anyone was wondering, I'm aware that doctors don't normally ask the entire family if they are okay with a procedure and ask the next of kin instead. Well, this is one of those things that actually happened. The doctor didn't even really give my husband's parents a chance to object when he asked, and I found it was just how he ran things.

And, yeah, Tanya is a nurse as well. I just eliminated the two biggest people after Bella and Edward's affection. Go me. 

The prayer was Bella's way of getting out all of the poison, in the form of hurt, pain, and insecurities, out of her system. I'm not really religious, but I know that sometimes seeking out a higher power makes us feel better.

The song for this chapter was Letter to God by Hole. When I first started chapter 10, I wanted it to end where this one does. It didn't happen, and it became the Epic Chapter. If you follow me on Twitter, you might remember me bitching about it. It was the bane of my existence for awhile, but I think how it was split into two worked out great. Thank goodness, huh, because it had the potential to be a mess.






I'm going to try to post a teaser for Chapter 12 soon. Right now, it's with the betas, so it will be a few days before I can. I promise nothing, though. You've all found out how things can be left when I get busy.

Update on things going on

If you read my fic, you know that recently my husband had multiple seizures that forced him into the hospital overnight. He's doing much better, but it's been hell on me for the past week. It's scary when the person you love has no idea what is going on, can't remember what you said to them five minutes ago, or is so confused, you have to show them how to take their medication.

I'm not complaining. I knew what was in store for me when I married him. We'd lived through five years of his accident at that point, so it wasn't like I could say, "Oh, that's what it's like, nevermind." Yeah, I'm not like that.

So, since I have a spare minute, I'm gonna go a head and put a post up for chapters 8, 9, 10, and 11. This will probably be an epic post. I am going to apologize in advance. *cringes*

So I might have jumped the gun a little bit

I have to say, I'm really surprised that people are actually reading this thing. I was pretty much ready to give up on this blog thing because I figured no one was reading it. But after the couple of comments I received today, I think I might have been a little bit hasty. If you guys are actually going to check this thing out, then I will try my best to update it more often.

Since my last post, I've updated the story to include chapters 7 and 8. Both are much more intense than the previous ones, and are leading up to some pretty big drama. I'll get on here tomorrow and post songs and whatnot. I'm a little tired at the moment, and have to get up early to get my children ready to go to school. :)

I was asked if I post anywhere else besides Fanfiction.net. The answer to that is, yes I do. You can find me on The Writers Coffee Shop as shelikesthesound or on Twilighted as shelikethesound. Yeah, I know the Twilighted one is different, but that's what happens when you don't check to make sure you didn't leave out a letter before you hit send to register on a site. Total and utter fail on my part. I'll post those links tomorrow, too. Being on Twilighted is pretty new, and is only posted to chapter 2. I know that they are very particular about who they accept, and I'm honored that they think I'm good enough to be included with some great authors.

Alright, I'm off to bed. Looks like I have some work to do tomorrow. See ya soon.